Doris Redwine 1926-2008

Doris Redwine 1926-2008

My Sweetie wrote this for Mom and has allowed me to reprint it here:

Before I ever met Doris Redwine, I knew her basic story. She was a child born of the depression. She had three sisters and one set of twin brothers. She attended college earning a degree in chemistry - something few women even thought about doing in at that time.

She married Bob and she had three children. It was when I heard about those children that I first realized what an incredibly strong woman my mother in law to be was.

I could not imagine how anyone could survive giving birth to three beautiful boys and losing one to complications of Downs Syndrome, one to leukemia and fighting to keep alive one born with major heart defects.

But fight she did. When Tom was born she knew almost right away that something was wrong. She was told it was just fear. That after the birth of little Jim she was expecting something to be wrong.

Fortunately, she didn’t let anyone force her to doubt a mother’s instinct. She made the doctors see what she saw. That Tom could not breathe right. Many should be credited with saving her second sons life, including her husband Bob who insisted Tom get the very best doctors in the country and of course those doctors. But without Doris’ perseverance, my husband would not be alive today.

Just when she must have thought she had conquered the greatest challenge a mother could endure, she was forced to fight again. Her healthy son was diagnosed with leukemia. That four year long battle ended with heartbreak. And Doris was forced to once again endure a parent’s greatest tragedy- to have a child die before it’s mother.,

Even today, I cannot possibly understand the strength it took for Doris and Bob to survive that loss. But I suspect that the one thing that helped the most was the love of her family.

Before Tom and I could even say our “I Do!s” I realized there was something incredibly special about the Jones Family and Doris’ love for them all. The first clue was in how many members of the family made the long trek from the Carolinas to Arkansas for our wedding. The second clue was the teasing, laughter and all the picture taking at the wedding festivities. (Boy, that family can take pictures!)

But the biggest sign of the strength of the Jones Family love was the annual Christmas’ spent together in Badin and the summers at the beach. During those big family gatherings (and I do mean big – some summers gathered sixty or more extended family members together) I saw just how much that the Jones Family gave each strength through love, friendship and a willingness to share burdens.

The importance of family was clearly a lesson Doris and the siblings learned from their parents William Clyde and Aurene Ellis. And it may be the most important lesson she passed on to her own son.

But I don’t think Doris’ idea of family stopped at blood. Over the years I began to realize how much she appreciated and valued the friends who gave her so much support throughout the years. She spoke often of her book club, her friends at the beauty salon, and let’s not forget the friends she saw daily on TV all those years she watched her soap Days of Our Lives.

But I think the one’s who meant the most to her were the friends that she and Bob met through their church. People like Bill and Perky Foster who helped so much during the years when she battled for the lives of her sons.

I can’t tell you how many times Doris told me to value friendship and the support true friends can provide. It was family and friends who helped Doris survive for so many years when a weaker woman would have faltered. And it was family and friends who helped her endure the many physical and emotional pains she suffered in recent years. Even in the last few years when she did not often leave her home and eventually her bed,. she never stopped talking about the people who shared their strength and love with her.

I know she valued them all and I know that there is so very much we can all learn from her example. Yes, Doris had her moments of weakness, her times when sadness and pain made it difficult to get out of bed. But so many times in her life she was strong. Learn the lessons she taught me. Be stubborn. It can save a life. Value today. Tomorrow will bring many changes. And always do your best to see the good in life even when the darkness surrounds you.